Wow... haven't written in this for a while. Well life isn't so bad at the moment, I smoke... yay, Jake's still in love with me and i miss him like hell, I have a new boyfriend called Chris who also smokes (you can see why I do it). He's great but sometimes I just feel that I don't know him, is that bad? Thinking that your boyfriend is a complete stranger? I don't know. Well, sitting my GCSEs too, kinda sucks. I know I should be revising but its hard to concentrate. Guy called Jack Collins keeps calling me fat... makes me feel so good about myself. Dan? Oh, well, he's out of the picture, said he didn't want to start talking again because he's worried he'd "fall in love with me again" he never did. If he did he wouldn't have broken up with me for other people would he? I'm not complaining, I mean after Highdown it's not like I'm ever gonna see him again is it? He wanted me to stay lol... bless. Nah, I can't stand being at that school anymore, drives me up the wall.
Last week I didn't see Chris for four days, then I saw him for a day and a half then he buggers off for another 3 days. Is it bad that I miss him? Cried last night because I missed him? :/ I hardly ever cry nowadays... is that bad? before last night, the last time I cried I had a panic attack, i couldn't breathe because my tonsils had swollen up like a bitch and blocked my throat.. bloody things, I really need to get them sorted out. Haha... That night Jake got scared, thought I was going to die? I was like, no? wouldn't have died from that, would i? meh, who cares anyway, the only people that'd miss me is Jake and Chris maybe Frances if I'm lucky. I'm not all like "ugghhh my life's shit" it just wouldn't really bother me if I died. I've got nothing going for me, hopefully going to Reading college, that's going to be... interesting. Having to make new friends again, but the best thing of all...? Ruby Stear is going. yay. my life is fucking complete now aint it?! god, she really does piss me off. Just because I've dyed my hair red she goes all psycho like, WHY DID SHE DYE HER HAIR RED, I WAS GOING TO FOR PROM. seriously like i give a fuck? and even if i did, how would i have known? i dont talk to her? i dont talk to any of her friends?!
Prom soon.... yay, dont have a date lol, the guy i asked said no, so i didnt bother after that. was well gutted though, thought he'd say yes. but he thought it all serious and said i dont want to ruin our friendship. now we dont even have a friendship. he doesnt talk to me. half of the people i used to talk to, dont even like me anymore :L why should i bother wasting my time? I'll just go with mates or something. Max (Grant's mate) invited me and frances to his parent's wedding, thats gonna be fun. apparently i'm his date and there's an open bar. Grant keeps going on about how he's gonna get plastered and im like yay... more of a reason to fuck myself over. Reminds me... Grants moving soon... he's happy about it. said that we could visit. seriously, imma go to college with no friends lol, mollett is going to guildford (ACM) woop woop for her. she's hardly happy anymore, all talking about clinton and what she can do to get him back, and im sat on the fence as im friends with both of em. how interesting my life is...
anyway, long story short, my day has been okay, my life has been okay from the last time i wrote an entry and im feeling okay. see ya!
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